Half the world is now living in a state of fear. As the Coronavirus pandemic surges to frightening levels, and the news headlines are full of crisis, the vulnerable among us self-isolate in fear.
This loss of social connection and touch can have serious effects on our mental and physical health. Human are social creatures and touch is in our DNA. It’s essential for love, for trust, for empathy, for feeling safe. Social touch increases the feel-good chemicals in our brain, the endorphins and serotonin. Without touch, we wither away.
The withdrawal of social connection and touch during Coronavirus lockdown is damaging to our health. We feel chronically anxious and the increase of stress hormones, like cortisol, impairs our immune system. Loneliness and social isolation change our gene expression and make us more vulnerable to illness.
If you are anxious, fearful and socially isolated, you are much more likely to fall ill with an infection than someone who is relaxed and feeling connected. So in some ways, the stress of lockdown can actually increase your risk of falling ill with COVID.
The good news!
The good news is that a simple practice – based on science – can quickly reduce your anxiety, boost your immune system, and increase your sense of social connection. This practice is called Havening Touch®.
As humans, we are biologically hard-wired to have touch as part of our social bonding system. Specialised cells in the skin detect the sensation of soothing touch and send nerve signals to our emotional centres. This C-Tactile system is essential for human bonding, empathy, trust and feeling safe and happy.
Three particular areas of the skin have a special role in making us feel safe, when we feel soothing strokes to the palms of the hands, the upper arms, and the skin of the face. This Havening Touch rapidly affects the frequency of our brainwaves, filling our brains with soothing, low-frequency Delta Waves. These are also the brainwaves we have during deep sleep, a time of healing and replenishment.
We can apply this Havening touch to ourselves, or to others. Havening Touch is the basis of a powerful practice that can rapidly heal emotional trauma. The techniques were developed by a medical doctor and PhD researcher, Dr Ron Ruden in the USA.
Dr Ruden has described the detailed neuroscience of how Havening touch affects the brain, re-wires nerve connections and allows trauma to be rapidly erased. Within a short time of starting Havening touch, the feel-good brain chemicals serotonin and endorphins start to increase. This is a natural and powerful antidote to anxiety and depression, more powerful than antidepressant drugs.
Moreover, Havening Touch quickly inhibits the stress reactions in the body and has a very prolonged effect on stress hormones and blood pressure. Recently published research showed that just one hour of Havening Touch dramatically reduced cortisol levels – the main stress hormone – a whole month after a single session Of Havening.
How can we use Havening Touch during COVID?
Here’s the simple practice to immediately reduce your fear, boost your immune system and increase your sense of social connection and bonding.
- Pair up with a family member, friend or neighbour online. Agree a time. You need a video connection – it can be Facetime on your phone, Messenger Video, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, or any other video messaging system. Set up your phone or tablet so that your Havening partner will have a clear view of your upper body (please remain fully clothed!)
- Both of you will apply the Havening Touch to yourself – we call it ‘Self-Havening’ – soothing stroking to your palms, upper arms and face. Watch my video for a quick demonstration. It’s best if you watch the other person and synchronise your movement so that you are stroking your face, arms and hands at the same time as your Havening partner. Wash your hands before you begin this practice.
- Tap into positive memories and feelings while you do the Havening
touch together. You can take it in turns to ask each other questions about good things in life – there are some suggestions below.
You can do this practice for 30 or 60 minutes. Time will go very quickly. You will be amazed how powerful it is! I have used techniques like this to rapidly treat severe emotional trauma. So with regular application, you will be healing your stress, powerfully boosting your immune system, and building a sense of intimate friendship and connection – the perfect antidote to lockdown!
Appreciative Havening
Appreciative Inquiry is a wonderful way to shift the energy when we are bogged down in stress and problems. Instead of focusing on what is wrong – our habitual pattern – Appreciative Inquiry asks us to tell stories of times then everything went right. It gets our creative imagination and positive energy flowing, and also builds collaboration and partnership, rather than blaming others for the problems.
We can use this principle in our Havening sessions together, by asking questions that trigger happy and positive responses. I call this ‘Appreciative Havening’.
We can make suggestions like:
- Tell me about your best ever holiday
- Tell me exactly how you cook your favourite dish – like being a TV chef having to describe all the ingredients and how you prepare them
- Tell me about any other thing you love doing – could be a hobby, sport, a walk in nature, etc
- Tell me about your grandchildren and the best times you have with them
- Take me on a tour of your garden and name all the plants and features
- Tell me how you met your spouse or partner
- Tell me your favourite memories of times with your pet dog
- Take me into your favourite place and describe it in detail, using all your senses (could be snuggled up at home, or in nature)
- Tell me about a time someone was really kind to you
You can make up your own questions. Let the other person really get involved in telling you the story or description, with some encouraging comments or questions. Take it in turns to speak of your favourite things or memories.
Make this a daily practice
If you do this just once a day for seven days, this will transform your wellbeing. You will find yourself smiling and laughing, a lot of your fear and stress will dissolve away, and you will sleep better.
Even better, you will be building strong social connections during lockdown, instead of losing them.
This practice doesn’t have to be limited to working in pairs. Video connections like Zoom allow us to connect to multiple participants at once. You can have a Havening Party, taking it in turns to share good stories and memories. Happy connecting!
If you’d like to learn more about Havening, please visit havening.org.
#timetoheal #appreciativehavening
