About Me and Havening

When I first meet you as a client my question is, “How would you like your life to be different?“

I believe that you have the capacity to heal yourself but only you know what is important. I don’t do therapy to clients, I just create the conditions in which your trauma can heal and you can change your own life. Also, I never try to persuade you that our work together has made things better; I just invite you to be curious and to notice what has changed for you.

I am a good fit for some clients and not for others. I’m happy to meet with you online and see if we connect in a comfortable way. (You can book a free chat using the button on the Home page). There is no sales pitch; every time it’s your choice as to whether you want to work with me, or to book another session.

The first step in healing is helping you making sense of what is happening in your brain and body. Few people understand what trauma is, or how it affects people. You might be surprised to find that life events that don’t seem significant to you might actually be stored as traumas and could affect you for a lifetime. I will help you understand what trauma is, how it is stored in the brain, and how it causes automatic emotional reactions, stresses and limiting self-beliefs. Trauma is ‘hard-wired’ in the operating system of the brain and you can’t think your way out of it. That’s why talk therapy may not help when you are feeling stuck in life. I also explain carefully how Havening works to erase the trauma in your brain and what change you might expect.

If we agree to start using any of the Havening techniques, I will explain to you exactly what we are going to do, and what might happen. I never want any of my clients to feel unprepared. I want you to feel confident, relaxed and to give informed consent. The wonderful thing is that the process of erasing a trauma is gentle, light-hearted and fun! Many of my clients are laughing before we even begin a healing process ☺️. If you don’t want to be touched by me, I will invite you to do your own self-Havening touch (specific forms of touch are an essential part of the practice).

I will do my best to help you feel safe and welcomed. I endeavour to meet you first as a person, not a client, to find out something about you. I bring empathy, compassion, understanding, kindness, respect and emotional validation to our encounters. I will ask for permission for every thing that we do.

I believe in your own intuitive, healing intelligence, which will guide your healing journey in the directions it needs to go, and at the pace that is right for you. If your trauma is more complex, much will be hidden away. As you begin to relieve your trauma burden, your nervous system will recalibrate, and the feeling or memories that have been buried will start to emerge. My job is to work with whatever is presenting itself in your mind. At each new session I will ask for your insights or feelings. If you are unsure how to proceed I might sometimes make suggestions, or we can just do the Havening touch, and talk, and then insight you need will naturally arise.

Havening does not use any diagnostic labels. I don’t consider that there is is anything wrong with you; you don’t have a brain disease or a pathology. What you are experiencing is the adaptive response to trauma and threat. If we look at the symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, phobias, addictions and the many other ‘diagnoses’ used in the mainstream mental health world we see the effects of trauma. As you heal the trauma, the symptoms go away. Neuro-developmental  issues such as ADHD and autism also have layers of trauma. Heal the trauma and a lot of those symptoms or life difficulties – such as social phobia – may resolve.

I often witness with awe the beautiful changes that occur in my clients, completely spontaneously and unguided. Having said that, Havening practice is guided by a very precise scientific theory that gives me defined diagnostic criteria,  a clear guide to practice, and allows me to interpret and validate the changes in clients that occur during sessions. So sometimes the work is very focussed, at other times we enter into completely open processes of exploration and release.

I have worked with over a thousand clients and that has helped me develop my intuition. I will often get a sense of what could be a helpful approach and I’ll let you know if I start to have an idea. If we are patient, the way ahead will become clear. If I am unsure, I will tell you. I trust that together we will find the right path forward.

I do my best to practice the law of ‘non-resistance’. I know that if I push my clients, or try to achieve a particular outcome, I will spoil the work. It is much better to let it unfold naturally, then we can together celebrate the remarkable results. Our work together will often be playful and humorous. There is no right or wrong in the work we do together, I don’t set expectations, and I allow you to discover the changes for yourself.

I work a lot with children and families. Children have magical minds and they instinctively know how to heal. Parents and children (either small or grown up) are energetically closely linked together. Healing one will help the other (even if they don’t know the work has been done). If all members of a family have witnessed the same trauma, I can work with everyone simultaneously in a joint process.

I prefer to work in person, rather than over a Zoom connection. Havening is a beautiful practice of human connection and touch, using mechanisms we have evolved over millions of years as social animals. When we sit close, I can help co-regulate your nervous system with my calm, compassionate presence and touch. Having said that, I have worked with hundreds of clients over Zoom and seen some remarkable results in clients that I have never met in person.

I am also a trainer in Havening Techniques and have trained, coached and mentored many counsellors, therapists, psychologist, doctors and other practitioners to become Certified Havening Practitioners. My focus is as much on their personal healing as it is on teaching new knowledge and skills. Teaching and mentoring brings me much joy and satisfaction.

Havening Touch® is a wonderfully gentle, intuitive, self-healing process using inbuilt biological healing mechanisms. The developer of Havening, Dr Ronald Ruden, has elucidated the complete pathway by which traumatic events get ‘hard-wired’ into a part of the brain called the Amygdala. He also discovered a very rapid molecular mechanism for permanently deleting traumatic memories, which works in minutes. The key to healing trauma is to create in the brain a strong signal of safety, which activates the molecular mechanism that deletes the traumatic memory. During Havening, the brain is literally rewired to remove the effects of trauma. If you are a science geek and want to know the molecular mechanisms, you can read the scientific paper here. The efficacy of the technique is also proven in two randomised, controlled trials (RCT) here and here.

The signals of safety are generated by applying very specific forms of soothing touch to the hands, upper arms and face. Neuroscientists discovered about ten years ago that we have specialised nerves in the skin with the sole purpose of detecting a soothing stroke from a warm object, such as a hand. These nerves send signals directly into the emotional centres of the brain to create a sense of deep safety and connection. These mechanisms of soothing touch have evolved in mammals and they form part of a natural mechanism for recovering from traumatic events.

The touch can be applied by the practitioner to the client, or else clients can apply the soothing touch to themselves during a session of Havening, guided by the practitioner.

Havening Touch also works very effectively via video call, so help can be given at a distance.

You will not be re-traumatised during Havening

Some of my clients have been further traumatised, during other kinds of therapy, by having to describe their most horrifying experiences. I want to reassure you that during Havening we never need to know the details of your trauma. When we are dealing with traumatic memories, we simply ask the client to recall the event very briefly, then we use distractions to divert your attention away from the trauma. A brief recall is all that is required, to activate the nerve circuits that encode the trauma, then se can precisely target the trauma delete function. The process does not take away the factual memory – it just erases the emotional and body reactions that get triggered when a traumatic memory is reactivated.

Your safety is the first priority

Where there is complex trauma (often starting in early life), the journey of healing may take unexpected twists and turns. We often use the analogy of peeling the layers off an onion. As we delete the more recent trauma, deeper layers may emerge, which are linked to more severe trauma. So symptoms can get temporarily worse.

How our body copes with trauma is to assess, at the time, if we have the emotional resources and resilience to deal with threatening life events. If we are overwhelmed, the trauma gets buried in the subconscious and stays there until we feel safe enough to address it. That’s the power of Havening, to create a profound sense of safety and to allow the hidden trauma to emerge and be healed, layer by layer. As this process unfolds, we often gain access to early life memories and the causes of trauma can be identified and healed.

With any new client, the first step is to assess the degree of emotional vulnerability and resilience. In many clients, we can step rapidly into addressing the trauma. In vulnerable clients, we may spend some time using Havening to build safety and resilience before we tackle the underlying problems. So, for instance, a recent client came to me with severe longstanding anxiety and panic attacks. She never, ever, felt safe, not even for a minute. In the first session we simply used Havening to take her to a place of complete calm and safety. The client cried tears of relief – she couldn’t believe it was ever possible to feel safe again!

But what if you can’t remember your trauma? Watch this video to find out how we can work together to gradually unfold your trauma and help it heal.

Some clients, who are otherwise resilient and have discrete traumatic memories, can be cured in a single session. In a selected group of clients, it may be possible to fully resolve your clients using online, guided self therapy.

Other clients may need many sessions to deal with lifelong, severe trauma, and the guidance of an experienced practitioner becomes crucial. The typical course of Havening might be four to six session. I teach all my clients how to do self-havening, so that they have a tool they can use to address stress or anxiety. You can watch my popular YouTube video on self-havening.

*Dr Robin Youngson is a Certified Havening Techniques Practitioner.

Havening Techniques is a registered trade mark of Ronald Ruden, 15 East 91st Street, New York. www.havening.org

About Dr Youngson

Dr Robin Youngson, MA MB ChB FANZCA, is a Certified Havening Practitioner and Trainer, and is a retired Anaesthetic Specialist with a long career in the public health service in New Zealand.

As an international campaigner, speaker and author, Robin has been the leading voice calling for humane and compassionate healthcare. Together with his wife Meredith, Robin was the founder of Hearts in Healthcare, and international social movement spanning many countries. Together, Robin and Meredith brought their work to fifteen countries and Robin’s book, ‘TIME TO CARE – How to love your patients and your job’ is translated into Dutch, German and Hungarian. His newest book, ‘The Science of Miracles‘ is getting rave reviews.

In parallel with his clinical career, Robin has also an outstanding health leader as a pioneer in patient safety and quality improvement. He has been an advisor to the New Zealand Government and the World Health Organisation. In 2016, the New Zealand Medical Association gave Robin their highest prize, the Chair’s Award, for outstanding contribution to the health of New Zealand.

You can learn about Robin’s deep reflections on compassionate leadership through his TEDx talk and second book, ‘From HERO to HEALER – Awakening the Inner Activist’.

Robin and Meredith have three grown-up daughters and two grandchildren. They live happily in the small, seaside town of Ragland in the North Island of NZ. Robin is an avid landscaper, builder and restorer. Here’s a recent project shared on YouTube, restoring a wood lathe discovered in the town dump and selling it to raise funds for the local community. Having started his career as an engineer before studying medicine, Robin can turn his hand to many trades. He offers his skills by contributing to the Raglan TimeBank, offering free repairs and help especially to those who live alone. He also loves walking in the native forest and going for long cycle rides in the country around Raglan.

As a therapist, he is described by his clients as “calm, gentle, sensitive, compassionate, totally present, intuitive, creative, very safe, empathetic, nurturing, friendly and human, a delicate presence and warmth, respectful. “

One client said, “He approaches every session with such creativity, openness, hope, and trust in an individual’s ability to heal and in the incredible power of Havening.”

Robin himself describes his Havening work as the most astonishing and gratifying work in over thirty years of medical practice. He says the work is equally healing and energising for him, as it is for his clients.

My Clinic room

Guided self-Havening practice to support yourself

I have lots of videos that guide you through a simple process of self-healing and explain more about the therapy. These are all free to access and use.